We aren't going anywhere...

Oh Lord, here I go again. AGAIN!!

Today I was arguing with people over whether homosexuality is a choice or not. Now, the person I began arguing with, to his credit, claimed to have read many scientific studies on the subject. The authors concluded that it isn't a choice, but don't have concrete evidence to support that. So he concludes that it must, then, be a choice. At least he was open minded enough to consider the possibility. However, his conclusion is completely wrong and no amount of things I said was going to persuade him otherwise.

What pissed me off the most about the conversation was the fact that, while people claim that for LGBT people who we are attracted to is a choice, they don't acknowledge the fact that they cannot control who they are attracted to. I asked the guy, if it's so easy to choose, go see if you can be attracted to a man, I'll wait...

At first he didn't even acknowledge my statement. Then he went on to say that he could lay with a man if he chose, but chooses not to because he finds it disgusting...EXACTLY!! You find the idea of being with someone of the same sex disgusting. Well guess what dude, gay people find the idea of being with someone of the opposite sex disgusting! They can't help it. Some of them wish and pray that they could. You have people out there who openly speak against homosexuality and yet have secret profiles on gay sex sites to satisfy their secret desires that they are combating against because they've been told by society it's wrong.

This statement however, by a person not involved in the original argument made me very angry, though I chose not to say anything because I'd already left the argument:

I am getting tired of the "We were born this way" argument. We were all born with urges and desires that vary from person to person. Acting on those desires and claiming, "I was born this way. I can't help it." is incredibly immature. 
Rational adults learn to conform to societal norms and keep their desires under control. That's why I don't walk into a store and take whatever I want. That's why I don't cheat on my wife. That's why I obey the law. I know the difference between right and wrong. So is having homosexual feelings or desires a choice? Absolutely not! Is acting on those desires a choice? Absolutely! Debate all you want whether homosexual acts are right or wrong, but as far as what is a matter of choice is pretty clear to me. Can you choose a feeling? No. Can you choose an action? Yes. People need to stop navigating life by their feelings like children and start using their brains like adults. 

So this guy, actually admits that it's not a choice, but according to him we should just 'conform to societal norms' and suppress that. We should be miserable and either be celibate or be in a relationship with someone we don't feel attracted to just so we can appear 'normal' WTF?!

I am so tired of people who aren't LGBT telling us how we should feel or act. How would they like it? They are usually also the ones crowing they don't want the government to be involved in their lives then turn around and support legislation that suppresses gay people, like bans on gay marriage.

With people like that, it wouldn't matter if scientists found a 'gay gene' tomorrow. They still wouldn't believe. Despite the fact that whenever you hear the story of a gay person, they talk about knowing they were 'different' from an age when children have no idea what sexuality is. This is coming from people who grew up in a time when being gay wasn't talked about. So if it wasn't talked about, and they had no idea what sexuality was, and they only had straight role models, how did they become gay?

The other thing that made me mad was that I was told my response to finding women attractive was simple lust. That I should simply not choose to act on that lust. (which I don't, because I'm married. But that doesn't negate what I feel) When I did a search for "Lust vs Sexual attraction" I found nothing but Christian articles. Searching just the word lust gave me a more accurate definition:

 Lust is an altered state of consciousness programmed by the primal urge to procreate. --Psychology Today

Hmm, a primal urge to procreate. Well, since I can't procreate with a girl, what then, is it when I'm sexually attracted to her?  To me, what it really comes down to when someone uses that argument, is that equating normal, healthy sexual attraction with lust gives it a negative connotation designed to make you feel ashamed of yourself. It's a way that conservative Christians have used to suppress both gay and straight people into conforming to their idea of what sex should be.

The thing is that sex has been around for a lot longer than religion. Just because someone comes along and says something is wrong, doesn't mean it is. We're entering a time in history when people are refusing to lie down and just accept someone else's ideas of what is wrong.

Of course, when I say things like that I just get accused of being a stupid liberal who has no common sense. There are rules we should follow to have an ordered society. But the thing about my sexuality is, that it doesn't harm you. If I steal from you, that harms you. If I beat you up or kill you, that harms you. If I practice adultery and steal your spouse, I harm you. Being a pedophile harms children. Morally, those things are wrong because they harm another human. Me being attracted to both men and women doesn't harm you. Other friends of mine being attracted to the same sex doesn't harm you. LGBT wanting to have the same rights and benefits of anyone else in society DOESN'T HARM YOU!!

In the end that's what it comes down to. If you want us to stop talking about it and 'keep it in the bedroom' as people have also said to me, then stop marginalizing people. When you want to hold hands with your hetero spouse, you don't get ridiculed and ostracized. It isn't all about sex. It's about being able to love the person you are attracted to in public. To be able to give them a kiss when you see them off at the airport. And for it to just be normal. Because let me tell you, we aren't freaking going anywhere. SO GET USED TO IT!!!

Okay, rant over. I'm sorry I get so angry, but I'm just so tired of it all. It's frigging exhausting.