Hello readers,
It's been about a month since my last post, so here I am again to bug you all! As usual, when something controversial comes up, I like to weigh in, so here we go.
As long as you don't live under a rock, you've heard about the recent decision by the Boy Scouts of America to allow openly gay youth to join their ranks, yet still disallow openly gay adults to serve as leaders. This has, as you may imagine, caused a lot of ruckus. I often wonder why I allow myself to read the comments from people on articles posted on Facebook from the various news organizations I follow, but I do find it interesting to see where peoples viewpoints lie. I'm also always continually flabbergasted by the sheer stupidity out there, but that's a post for another day.
I was driven to want to write this blog post when I saw that the brother of a good friend of mine, who is an Eagle scout, is pulling his own son out of scouts and mailing back the Eagle award that took him 14 years to earn. He's spent the majority of his life either in scouts or leading his son in scouts. One thing that I knew was inevitable with the scouts decision was that more conservative members would leave the group. Either in protest over a decision they disagree with, or based on an irrational fear of they or their child coming into contact with 'gayness'.
Truthfully, I find his decision to be a very sad one. He blames it on the scouts bowing to pressure to conform with society, rather than stick to their so-called 'biblical principles'. He even posted a mocking new scout pledge that addressed that.
I've seen some people blaming the government, or the constitution, etc for the this change in the boy scouts. But what so many conservative members of the scouts don't stop to think about, is that the shift came not from societal pressure, but from within their own organization. Closeted gay members who want to be able to admit, 'this is who I am'. Straight members who believe that everyone should be given equal opportunity to succeed in life. There is no doubt that the scouts have done amazing things for people. I've never heard anyone speak poorly of their experiences in scouts. But they are woefully behind in helping a group of people who could benefit from their help the most, and are only now addressing it.
Gay youth can stand to benefit so much from the scouts. For a child who is ostracized by many around them to the point that so many choose suicide, scouts could potentially be a lifesaver. Yet, at the same time I worry that conservative members who remain in scouts may be allowed to continue the abuse and that the organization as a whole won't get anywhere with it's attempt at diversity. Oh, they'll draft rules and policies, but how many individual scout leaders will turn a blind eye in the more conservative parts of the country? More than they would like to admit I'll bet.
Of course, among commenters fighting over this decision, the bible does come up and verses get tossed around left and right. I've done my fair share of research over the years, but have found it impossible to convince people that are so entrenched in their beliefs that they are being hypocritical. I wonder how many people who talk about the bibles stance on homosexuality have paid attention to the bits about divorce? Yet divorce is pretty acceptable and almost necessary in our society today and is certainly not as frowned upon as it once was. Are divorced people allowed to lead in scouts? Are kids with divorced parents allowed to be in scouts? Certainly! But yes the bible is very specific, and talks far more about the evils of divorce, than it does about homosexuality. So where is that principle in an organization that claims to be biblical?
Something I find inherently disturbing is the comparisons made between homosexuality and pedophilia. People argue that, "Oh gay people say they're born that way, but so do pedophiles!" Really?? There are some glaring, huge differences between both of these states. Homosexuality was declassified as a mental illness in 1975. (much later than I would have guessed!) It is also, in this country at least, not a criminal act to engage in homosexual activity with another consenting adult. The key words here being consenting adult.
Pedophilia on the other hand is considered a mental disorder, a sickness. It is harmful to the targeted victim because that victim is too young to consent or understand what is happening to them. Also, though science has tried to find a biological reason for it, there seem to be none. Instead, I found this passage from minddisorders.com that sums it up pretty well:
Most experts regard pedophilia as resulting from psychosocial factors rather than biological characteristics. Some think that pedophilia is the result of having been sexually abused as a child. Still others think that it derives from the person's interactions with parents during their early years of life. Some researchers attribute pedophilia to arrested emotional development; that is, the pedophile is attracted to children because he or she has never matured psychologically. Some regard pedophilia as the result of a distorted need to dominate a sexual partner. Since children are smaller and usually weaker than adults, they may be regarded as nonthreatening potential partners. This drive for domination is sometimes thought to explain why most pedophiles are males.
There is some interesting research regarding possible biological causes of homosexuality as well as evolutionary theories. I suggest, if you're interested, that you take a look. Are research studies always completely conclusive? No they aren't. But it will really give you food for thought. I've said this before and I'll say it again: our brains can be wired in millions of different ways. Some of those ways are harmful, which is why they are classified as mental illnesses, that are harmful to others and to the person with those illnesses. Other ways are pretty benign, such as homosexuality. In a consenting relationship, homosexuality harms no one. It doesn't harm me to see a gay couple holding hands when they walk down the street, or even kiss one another. It is merely societies extreme views, often brought about by religion, that cause people to have a problem with it. But the sheer number of gay people tells me that this is something that isn't an abnormality that just happens once in a while. It's just a normal part of the spectrum of society. No different than being left handed (which, by the way, also was once frowned upon).
But back to the boy scouts. Many who know me know that I'm getting ready to have a baby boy here in just under six weeks. Unless things shift seismically, I don't plan on my son ever being in scouts. Not for the reasons chosen by the brother of my friend, but because until they choose to include all people, it's an organization I don't want my son to be a part of. I think they didn't go far enough. I think they need to allow gay men to serve as leaders. They aren't going to turn your children gay if they aren't already. I think that's another fear of some parents. That they might have a gay child, but that child can 'resist' being gay so long as they don't come into contact with someone who actually 'is' gay. It's a justification so many parents use when they can't cope with the fact their child is gay.
Truthfully, in my lifetime, or at least in the lifetimes of my children, I expect that this debate in our country over homosexuality will become a memory for history books, something people shake their heads over and wonder how we could have been so backward. Go further down the road, and even churches may end up someday saying, "Oh yeah, we really had it wrong that time." It is, at least, what I hope for. That equality can be had for all.
Thanks for reading,
Dawn
