Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Compassion
Me and my nine year old daughter Kaia have something in common.
We both like Sardines...
Yes I know, not the bombshell you were expecting, but let me explain. Kaia asked me to buy Sardines while we were out shopping last night. This morning she wanted them for breakfast but I had already fixed her breakfast and suggested she take them to school for lunch.
Kaia was genuinely worried about the other kids thinking she was 'weird' for liking sardines. I sent them with her, but also a peanut butter sandwich, so she could make the most comfortable choice for herself. I sincerely hope she eats the sardines.
I have tried the entire time I've been a parent to instill in my children a high level of compassion and tolerance. To not fear the man in the wheelchair with the amputated leg, the little boy with scars on his face because he was burned in a fire, the person of a different race, culture, religion, or sexual orientation.
So it upsets me that my daughter should fear bringing an unusual food to school because she would be picked on for eating it. Shame on parents who cannot be bothered to teach their child compassion, yet would expect retribution to anyone who picked on THEIR child!
People need to wake up, look at the global melting pot society we ALL live in and learn to respect, try to understand and have compassion for all the unique, amazing people we have in this world.
So I will proudly eat my sardines, sushi, and anything else that anyone else thinks is gross, and I just won't care. I just hope I can teach my daughter to do the same!
Okay, off my soapbox now!
Saturday, October 20, 2012
How I feel about Gay Rights
Hello all!
This started out to be a facebook status post, but after I started typing I realized that perhaps my blog, which I haven't written on in some time, would give me more room to express my thoughts on this particular topic.
My husband and I took our eleven year old daughter to the library today, and while browsing the 'new arrivals' section, I came across a book by a man named Paul Vitagliano called "Born This Way, Real Stories of Growing Up Gay." I was intrigued, and decided to pick it up and bring it home.
I just finished reading the book "Red Letter Christians" by Tony Campolo (A book I highly recommend, by the way) and gay rights issues were addressed in that book and very much in the forefront of my mind, as they are in the media these days and in the lead up to the presidential election to take place only next month.
Born This Way was fascinating to me. It included snapshots of gay individuals as children, from the ages of 1 or 2 to as old as 13-15. Included with the snapshots were very short stories, sometimes only a collection of a few sentences or even just one sentence, that summed up for the person in the photograph what it had been like to 'grow up gay'. The stories were laid out in chronological order, spanning decades from the 1950's all the way to the 2000's. It included people we know now as celebrities, as well as regular, every day folks. There were both gay men, and lesbian women.
Some of the stories were heartwarming, others heartbreaking. Some had supportive and loving families who accepted them no matter what their orientation, and others spoke of being 'disowned' by their relatives, or having their gayness simply 'swept under the rug' and not talked about, as if not talking about it made it untrue.
One of the phrases I found most interesting in the book, was when these folks talked about "coming out to themselves" before coming out to friends and family. Admitting to themselves that they were gay, that they were different than most people, was often just as much if not more of a struggle than telling their loved ones, who almost always suspected or knew before the person came out to them.
So one gets to thinking about what kind of society we live in, where someone has to be afraid to admit, even to themselves, that they are gay.
I'm as straight as it gets, perfectly in love with my husband. I'm also a Christian, and very involved in my church. For most of my life, I never thought about gay rights, or even really knew any gay people. I just didn't live in a place where I came into contact with it. As I got older, and I started learning a little more about the world, I don't ever remember feeling anything negative about gay people, even once I became a Christian and starting attending church regularly. And I went to a baptist church where homosexuality is considered a terrible sin. I remember thinking, when I would hear people condemn it, "What is so bad about loving, and wanting to be loved, even by someone of the same gender?"
I've heard the arguments for why the bible says its wrong. And we all pick and choose which parts of the bible we ascribe to, (I don't wear robes and braid my hair after all) and the thing that I keep coming back to is that Jesus told us the greatest commandment was to Love. Love your enemies, show mercy. All of us are God's children, and should be treated as brothers and sisters. Jesus loved everyone the same, and we should too. I've always been a 'love everybody' kind of person, and try to always find the good in people.
My husband and I had a great discussion about what makes someone gay, and he asked me what a good argument would be against someone who tried to classify being gay as a mental illness. My own argument would be that mental illness is, to me, defined as something that harms either the individual, or others around them or both. Gayness doesn't harm anyone.
The human brain and systems are far more complex that any of us could ever begin to understand. The sheer number of people who identify as gay, for me, makes it seem that it is a born trait no different than having naturally curly hair or being left handed. It's simply a genetic reality, not a disorder and certainly not a choice. Genetics are responsible for so many different combinations of how we operate as human beings. Does it not then make sense to assume that being gay is simply another one of those genetic traits that occur?
I had the wonderful privilege of getting to work for a few months with a young man who is gay and out and proud of it. I'll never forget the day he and I discussed 'levels of gayness' and he said on a scale of one meaning you are a 'little gay' and 10 your 'pooping rainbows' he's about a 15 :) He is a great young man and to my mind very brave to come and live and work in an area that is very religiously and socially conservative and just be who he is. He is a sweetheart and if he reads this I just want to say "Nick, thank you for being a small part of my life and I admire you more than you know." (I also miss chatting about fashion and project runway with you!!)
So I guess my point to all this is that gay people are just...people. No different than you or me and who should be afforded the sames rights we all enjoy by virtue of being heterosexual. Do I think that churches who don't agree should be forced to accept gay marriage? No, we do have freedom of religion in this country and if they want to be intolerant then fine, though I will try to persuade them with just arguments. But if we are supposed to have separation of church and state in this country, then I say that conservative church views on homosexuality should stay out of whether they are granted the ability to marry and enjoy things that I get to enjoy as a married person. I don't ever have to worry about someone denying me access to my husband if he's in hospital, or denying me coverage on his health insurance policy, or deny allowing us to adopt a child, simply because we're straight. Gay people should have those same rights.
So think about those things, when you go to vote in a few weeks. Think about what the candidates views are on these issues. Even if you disagree with me, go out and voice it by voting, and not standing silent.
And to anyone out there who is gay, or who may be struggling with coming out as gay, I love you, and Jesus loves you, just as you are. Be who you are, and lets work together to teach our fellow man some tolerance and hope that in our grandchildren's day this gay rights argument will just be another entry in a history book, like the civil rights movement of the 1960's.
Thanks,
Dawn
This started out to be a facebook status post, but after I started typing I realized that perhaps my blog, which I haven't written on in some time, would give me more room to express my thoughts on this particular topic.
My husband and I took our eleven year old daughter to the library today, and while browsing the 'new arrivals' section, I came across a book by a man named Paul Vitagliano called "Born This Way, Real Stories of Growing Up Gay." I was intrigued, and decided to pick it up and bring it home.
I just finished reading the book "Red Letter Christians" by Tony Campolo (A book I highly recommend, by the way) and gay rights issues were addressed in that book and very much in the forefront of my mind, as they are in the media these days and in the lead up to the presidential election to take place only next month.
Born This Way was fascinating to me. It included snapshots of gay individuals as children, from the ages of 1 or 2 to as old as 13-15. Included with the snapshots were very short stories, sometimes only a collection of a few sentences or even just one sentence, that summed up for the person in the photograph what it had been like to 'grow up gay'. The stories were laid out in chronological order, spanning decades from the 1950's all the way to the 2000's. It included people we know now as celebrities, as well as regular, every day folks. There were both gay men, and lesbian women.
Some of the stories were heartwarming, others heartbreaking. Some had supportive and loving families who accepted them no matter what their orientation, and others spoke of being 'disowned' by their relatives, or having their gayness simply 'swept under the rug' and not talked about, as if not talking about it made it untrue.
One of the phrases I found most interesting in the book, was when these folks talked about "coming out to themselves" before coming out to friends and family. Admitting to themselves that they were gay, that they were different than most people, was often just as much if not more of a struggle than telling their loved ones, who almost always suspected or knew before the person came out to them.
So one gets to thinking about what kind of society we live in, where someone has to be afraid to admit, even to themselves, that they are gay.
I'm as straight as it gets, perfectly in love with my husband. I'm also a Christian, and very involved in my church. For most of my life, I never thought about gay rights, or even really knew any gay people. I just didn't live in a place where I came into contact with it. As I got older, and I started learning a little more about the world, I don't ever remember feeling anything negative about gay people, even once I became a Christian and starting attending church regularly. And I went to a baptist church where homosexuality is considered a terrible sin. I remember thinking, when I would hear people condemn it, "What is so bad about loving, and wanting to be loved, even by someone of the same gender?"
I've heard the arguments for why the bible says its wrong. And we all pick and choose which parts of the bible we ascribe to, (I don't wear robes and braid my hair after all) and the thing that I keep coming back to is that Jesus told us the greatest commandment was to Love. Love your enemies, show mercy. All of us are God's children, and should be treated as brothers and sisters. Jesus loved everyone the same, and we should too. I've always been a 'love everybody' kind of person, and try to always find the good in people.
My husband and I had a great discussion about what makes someone gay, and he asked me what a good argument would be against someone who tried to classify being gay as a mental illness. My own argument would be that mental illness is, to me, defined as something that harms either the individual, or others around them or both. Gayness doesn't harm anyone.
The human brain and systems are far more complex that any of us could ever begin to understand. The sheer number of people who identify as gay, for me, makes it seem that it is a born trait no different than having naturally curly hair or being left handed. It's simply a genetic reality, not a disorder and certainly not a choice. Genetics are responsible for so many different combinations of how we operate as human beings. Does it not then make sense to assume that being gay is simply another one of those genetic traits that occur?
I had the wonderful privilege of getting to work for a few months with a young man who is gay and out and proud of it. I'll never forget the day he and I discussed 'levels of gayness' and he said on a scale of one meaning you are a 'little gay' and 10 your 'pooping rainbows' he's about a 15 :) He is a great young man and to my mind very brave to come and live and work in an area that is very religiously and socially conservative and just be who he is. He is a sweetheart and if he reads this I just want to say "Nick, thank you for being a small part of my life and I admire you more than you know." (I also miss chatting about fashion and project runway with you!!)
So I guess my point to all this is that gay people are just...people. No different than you or me and who should be afforded the sames rights we all enjoy by virtue of being heterosexual. Do I think that churches who don't agree should be forced to accept gay marriage? No, we do have freedom of religion in this country and if they want to be intolerant then fine, though I will try to persuade them with just arguments. But if we are supposed to have separation of church and state in this country, then I say that conservative church views on homosexuality should stay out of whether they are granted the ability to marry and enjoy things that I get to enjoy as a married person. I don't ever have to worry about someone denying me access to my husband if he's in hospital, or denying me coverage on his health insurance policy, or deny allowing us to adopt a child, simply because we're straight. Gay people should have those same rights.
So think about those things, when you go to vote in a few weeks. Think about what the candidates views are on these issues. Even if you disagree with me, go out and voice it by voting, and not standing silent.
And to anyone out there who is gay, or who may be struggling with coming out as gay, I love you, and Jesus loves you, just as you are. Be who you are, and lets work together to teach our fellow man some tolerance and hope that in our grandchildren's day this gay rights argument will just be another entry in a history book, like the civil rights movement of the 1960's.
Thanks,
Dawn
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Fifty shades of amazing!
Hello faithful readers!
Well, those of you who might actually read this. It's been nearly a year since I last blogged, but I read something recently that compelled me to write something much longer than the average facebook post, so this seemed like the best place to do it :)
So, anyhow, I just finished the book "Fifty Shades of Grey" by British author E. L. James. There are two other books in the series, and I've already started the second one. The books have caused quite a sensation, and mention of them is all over the internet. I admit, when I read that they began as "Twilight" fan fiction, I was unsure what all the fuss was about. I borrowed the first "Twilight" book from a friend, and I couldn't get past the first five or so pages, the writing was so contrite, and really downright horrid. So I had no desire, at first, to read something spawned of that drivel. But friends and family were raving about "Fifty Shades" on facebook and I became intrigued. I downloaded a sample on my kindle and began to read, and by the time I got to the end of my sample, I was hungry for more.
****************SPOILER ALERT***************'
So what is all the fuss about? The books have taken Erotica and BDSM style sex to the mainstream masses. I'm a complete romance junkie, normally of the British, period variety, Victorian era or Georgian. So I was amazed when I found myself hooked on a modern, erotic romance. But hooked I am and only the desire to write this blog post is keeping me from picking it back up to read some more.
I've read several articles about the books, and also unearthed a spoiler today from book three :( But it is interesting to see all the different comments on the books. The reviews I saw on Amazon were terrible, many people who made fun of the books, the writing, the story, etc. So what is making it so appealing to so many if there are that many that have read and then disliked it?
I've read a lot in my time, from romance, to epic fantasy, to mystery to horror. I've always had pretty eclectic tastes. So I will remark that the writing isn't the best I've seen but it isn't the worst either. *cough*Twilight*cough* There are even some quirks that people seem to complain about that I liked. I enjoyed the email exchanges between the main characters, right down to showing the actual email format. That is how many of us communicate these days, so why not? It brings reality and a relatable quality to the story. The emails are witty, fun and give excellent insight into the characters. There are things that are easier for us to say when typing from behind a computer screen and I think those exchanges free the characters to show us something deeper about themselves.
Some folks complain about the constant inner dialogue of the heroine, calling it 'tortuous'. I liked it, because again, it gives you an insight into what she's thinking. Who wants only action in a story? I like hearing about the thoughts and fears of a character.
Yet another trait, and one which I noticed because I am married to a British man, is the smattering of British vernacular in the language of what should be a complete American character. Most people aren't going to notice it, because most people have no idea how British people talk. So what's the big deal? Books don't have to be 100% accurate to be enjoyable.
Of course, the thing that people want to talk most about is the kinky sex. Oh My! lol, really, we're all adults here people. What I read in that first book, is mild compared to what can be found on the internet with a simple search. Not that I look up that kind of thing, but I've stumbled across it and there is some scary stuff out there. Christian Grey's 'Red Room of Pain' so dubbed by Miss Steele, is mild compared to what is out there.
But when you read the books, the tortured past of the hero, and the heroines valiant effort to bring him from the dark to the light, is what stands out to me far more than the sex. Do I enjoy the sex scenes? Yep! I'm not a nun! ;) But what I look forward to most is the interaction between the main characters, the arguments, the deep discussions, the slow and agonizing process of drawing the demons out of Christian. The love. I'm a hopelessly incurable romantic. And I'm a sucker for a good love story. And this is a good love story. There are many ways of falling in love, both the long, slow, getting to know one another process, and the hard, fast, head over heels crazy falling in love. Both have validity, and both are equally interesting to me.
So I guess my point is this, don't go into reading these books, if you choose to do so, with a preconceived notion of what to expect. I started reading it expecting it to be all sex and no substance, but boy was I wrong! I also never believe reviews until I've read or seen something myself. I know what I like, and I'll make my own decisions, thank you very much. I don't need the masses, or worse yet, the critics to tell me what I should and shouldn't like.
If you've read the books you're probably smiling and nodding your head right now, if you haven't, I'm sorry if I spoiled anything for you, but I did warn you! Not my fault if you kept reading ;)
Well it's late folks, and I think I had better get off to bed. Please feel free to comment here or on my facebook page (I'm more likely to see it on facebook) and start a discussion. I'm very curious to see what my fellow Grey fans think as well. Who can't wait for the movie? Me!! :)
Goodnight folks!
Well, those of you who might actually read this. It's been nearly a year since I last blogged, but I read something recently that compelled me to write something much longer than the average facebook post, so this seemed like the best place to do it :)
So, anyhow, I just finished the book "Fifty Shades of Grey" by British author E. L. James. There are two other books in the series, and I've already started the second one. The books have caused quite a sensation, and mention of them is all over the internet. I admit, when I read that they began as "Twilight" fan fiction, I was unsure what all the fuss was about. I borrowed the first "Twilight" book from a friend, and I couldn't get past the first five or so pages, the writing was so contrite, and really downright horrid. So I had no desire, at first, to read something spawned of that drivel. But friends and family were raving about "Fifty Shades" on facebook and I became intrigued. I downloaded a sample on my kindle and began to read, and by the time I got to the end of my sample, I was hungry for more.
****************SPOILER ALERT***************'
So what is all the fuss about? The books have taken Erotica and BDSM style sex to the mainstream masses. I'm a complete romance junkie, normally of the British, period variety, Victorian era or Georgian. So I was amazed when I found myself hooked on a modern, erotic romance. But hooked I am and only the desire to write this blog post is keeping me from picking it back up to read some more.
I've read several articles about the books, and also unearthed a spoiler today from book three :( But it is interesting to see all the different comments on the books. The reviews I saw on Amazon were terrible, many people who made fun of the books, the writing, the story, etc. So what is making it so appealing to so many if there are that many that have read and then disliked it?
I've read a lot in my time, from romance, to epic fantasy, to mystery to horror. I've always had pretty eclectic tastes. So I will remark that the writing isn't the best I've seen but it isn't the worst either. *cough*Twilight*cough* There are even some quirks that people seem to complain about that I liked. I enjoyed the email exchanges between the main characters, right down to showing the actual email format. That is how many of us communicate these days, so why not? It brings reality and a relatable quality to the story. The emails are witty, fun and give excellent insight into the characters. There are things that are easier for us to say when typing from behind a computer screen and I think those exchanges free the characters to show us something deeper about themselves.
Some folks complain about the constant inner dialogue of the heroine, calling it 'tortuous'. I liked it, because again, it gives you an insight into what she's thinking. Who wants only action in a story? I like hearing about the thoughts and fears of a character.
Yet another trait, and one which I noticed because I am married to a British man, is the smattering of British vernacular in the language of what should be a complete American character. Most people aren't going to notice it, because most people have no idea how British people talk. So what's the big deal? Books don't have to be 100% accurate to be enjoyable.
Of course, the thing that people want to talk most about is the kinky sex. Oh My! lol, really, we're all adults here people. What I read in that first book, is mild compared to what can be found on the internet with a simple search. Not that I look up that kind of thing, but I've stumbled across it and there is some scary stuff out there. Christian Grey's 'Red Room of Pain' so dubbed by Miss Steele, is mild compared to what is out there.
But when you read the books, the tortured past of the hero, and the heroines valiant effort to bring him from the dark to the light, is what stands out to me far more than the sex. Do I enjoy the sex scenes? Yep! I'm not a nun! ;) But what I look forward to most is the interaction between the main characters, the arguments, the deep discussions, the slow and agonizing process of drawing the demons out of Christian. The love. I'm a hopelessly incurable romantic. And I'm a sucker for a good love story. And this is a good love story. There are many ways of falling in love, both the long, slow, getting to know one another process, and the hard, fast, head over heels crazy falling in love. Both have validity, and both are equally interesting to me.
So I guess my point is this, don't go into reading these books, if you choose to do so, with a preconceived notion of what to expect. I started reading it expecting it to be all sex and no substance, but boy was I wrong! I also never believe reviews until I've read or seen something myself. I know what I like, and I'll make my own decisions, thank you very much. I don't need the masses, or worse yet, the critics to tell me what I should and shouldn't like.
If you've read the books you're probably smiling and nodding your head right now, if you haven't, I'm sorry if I spoiled anything for you, but I did warn you! Not my fault if you kept reading ;)
Well it's late folks, and I think I had better get off to bed. Please feel free to comment here or on my facebook page (I'm more likely to see it on facebook) and start a discussion. I'm very curious to see what my fellow Grey fans think as well. Who can't wait for the movie? Me!! :)
Goodnight folks!
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