Judgement

Hello readers!

Seems I'm a little more fired up about things than usual these days and felt like I needed to write another blog post. It is a very cathartic thing, to organize ones thoughts about something that makes you angry into a coherent and thought out document. It seems to clear the system of negative energy, so I'm glad to have the opportunity to do that for the few of you who actually read my blogs. :)

Let me start with an oft quoted bible verse...

Luke 6:37 "Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven."

The part of that verse you hear most often is "Judge not, and you will not be judged..." It's a verse I've always liked but admit that at times I had a tough time living up to. I mean, come on, we all judge right? And my husband made a good point last night of saying that we should listen to our judgments sometimes, because they can keep us safe from harm. That's a good point. It's not unwise to cross the street when you see a creepy looking guy walking your way, even though he might be completely harmless. You don't want to judge but you want to be smart enough to keep yourself safe.

As I've gotten older, I have found that I am far less judgmental than I was as a young person. I'm not saying I don't judge at all, because I do. But I don't do it as much and I think more about things before I do make a judgement call about something.

So that's my background for what I want to talk about. Because lately I've come up against some of the most judgmental people I've ever seen in my life, and I just need to try and wrap my head around why these people are like this!

The worst of it I'm finding is on the RTV6 news Facebook page. I only started following them, to be honest, to try and win a contest, but I started reading their articles and the comments that inevitably follow, and this is where I've found this group of folks casting judgement around as if they were the hand of God or something. It's disturbing on so many levels. I want to tell you about a couple examples of why this makes me so angry.

The first was a few weeks ago, a story about a teen mother, homeless, with a four month old baby. She was helped out when a local organization that helps teen Mom's contacted a blogger with a large following in Florida to see if they could get the money raised to be able to take this girl in. They can only help so many girls and kids at a time, and didn't have the funding to help her. So this blogger took to the net and was able, in a very short amount of time, to raise over 85 thousand dollars which helped not only this girl but another who needed help as well. Heartwarming story right? Not to a lot of the people who follow RTV6 on facebook...

The picture posted with the article was a close up shot of a girl with her hands on her pregnant belly with pink painted fingernails. No face, nothing like that, just the belly and the hands. Instantly, people were ranting about her having a 4 month old and another on the way and why should we help someone who can't make good decisions. If she opens her legs she should face the consequences, how could she afford to get her nails done but not have a place to live... I could take up days of your time but that was the gist of most of the comments. My husband and I both ended up arguing with these people, many of whom had read ONLY the headline, and saw the picture. They hadn't read the article. Having worked at a newspaper for four years, I knew the look of a stock photo when I saw one, and so I contacted RTV6 both on Facebook and by email to find out if the picture was the actual girl, or if it was a stock photo. My suspicions were confirmed. It was merely a stock photo.

So, the girl wasn't pregnant with another child (the pic was at least a 5 month or more pregnant belly, she has a fourth month old child...I commented to folks, do the math) and no one knows whether or not this girl had her nails painted. So first of all people were making judgement over a picture that really had nothing to do with the story and was not a wise decision by those who decided to use it, and there was a complete lack of compassion for this girls situation. No matter what you feel about her decision making skills, should you not be happy a sweet, innocent four month old baby is off the streets and somewhere safe and warm?

Apparently not, they would rather just start a lynch mob for the poor kid who made a bad choice. We don't know this young woman, her circumstances, how she ended up where she is. All people cared about was that she was going to end up a drain on taxpayer dollars and oh we have to support her and her spawn...Really? I'm sorry, do you consider your grandchildren to be 'spawn'? What if your son loses his job and can't support his family and ends up on welfare?

Anyway, I won't go into that anymore, but it was one example of people with NO CLUE making judgement.  The number of people that just go off the headline and don't read the articles before they start spouting off opinions just baffles my mind.

Another example is a very sad story that started last night when an infant was found in a creek. Today's update says that the infant was a newborn (no specified age, which could mean it's anywhere from a day old to 28 days old according to my research). There is no news yet on the baby's cause of death, how long it was in the creek, etc.

Of course I started reading the comments, and among the many sad condolences for this poor, sweet angel, there are just as many calls for the mother to 'face the consequences' and "How can someone do this to a baby I hope she rots in hell." and "Why couldn't she just take advantage of 'Safe Haven' laws and drop the baby off at a hospital." or "So many people wish desperately for a child, they would have loved to have this baby!" the list goes on and on.

I pointed out that no one knows anything about the baby's mother, nor about how the baby actually died. It could have been stillborn in a sudden home birth or died from SIDS and if the mother was a teen maybe she panicked and put the baby in the creek because she thought she'd be blamed. It could have been killed by an abusive father and dumped by him. The point being that we don't know what happened, and should we judge this mother before we have all the facts?

So someone comments back at me, "So you would dump a stillborn or unwanted baby in a creek if you were a teen?"

*crickets*

Seriously, this was a direct response to my remarks. Wow.

I've had to restate my remarks at this woman several times now because she just doesn't get it. She was called out by a couple others (for her politics actually for other remarks she'd made) and she says, "How is what I said about others defending what happened a political statement."

I was floored! She actually sees me as defending a child murderer. Seriously? Talk about taking remarks out of context. I have restated myself a couple times, saying I'm not defending anything because we don't know what happened. If it turns out the mother did indeed kill this child either on purpose or through severe neglect, then yes, I'll be as outraged as anyone. People that do that should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. But NO ONE knows what happened yet, so to cast judgement is simply foolish. I admit that in the majority of cases it turns out that it is the mother or both parents that are the cause of these sorts of things. But we don't know that yet in this case, and isn't everyone considered innocent until proven guilty?

My point in all this, is that we should be try to be more compassionate and that we should ALWAYS look at the facts before we make a judgement on something or someone. All those who act high and mighty now may fall someday, and who will be there to catch you? Probably some of the same people or organizations or the government that you once criticized.

I suppose some will say it's just human nature to be judgmental  and perhaps it is. But as thinking, growing, changing human beings, we should try our best to rise above that. It just makes me so angry to see words thrown around, condemning speech, when there is no basis yet for the anger. In the case of that poor baby, we should be sad for him and his family until we find out what actually happened. But angry? No, save that until the case presents you with something to be angry about. Unnecessary anger is, to me, wasted brain cells.

So that is how I feel about judgement. Feel free to chime in with your own thoughts, stories or experiences.

Thanks for listening, as always,

Dawn