Another gay marriage post...

The First Amendment (Amendment I) to the United States Constitution prohibits the making of any law respecting an establishment of religion, impeding the free exercise of religion, abridging the freedom of speech, infringing on the freedom of the press, interfering with the right to peaceably assemble or prohibiting the petitioning for a governmental redress of grievances. It was adopted on December 15, 1791, as one of the ten amendments that comprise the Bill of Rights.

The Treaty of Tripoli (Treaty of Peace and Friendship between the United States of America and the Bey and Subjects of Tripoli of Barbary) was the first treaty concluded between the United States of America and Tripolitania, signed at Tripoli on November 4, 1796, and at Algiers (for a third-party witness) on January 3, 1797. It was submitted to the Senate by President John Adams, receiving ratification unanimously from the U.S.Senate on June 7, 1797, and signed by Adams, taking effect as the law of the land on June 10, 1797.

The treaty was a routine diplomatic agreement but has attracted later attention because the English version included a clause about religion in the United States.

As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion,—as it has in itself no character of enmity against the laws, religion, or tranquility, of Mussulmen [Muslims],—and as the said States never entered into any war or act of hostility against any Mahometan [Mohammedan] nation, it is declared by the parties that no pretext arising from religious opinions shall ever produce an interruption of the harmony existing between the two countries.

Hello faithful readers!

After reading some of the absolute drivel being posted on news articles on facebook (don't those always start me on a blog rant?) I just felt like I had to write something.

I've made my views on gay marriage pretty clear. I believe the science, I believe that being gay is no different than being left handed, or having naturally curly hair. It's genetics, it's not a choice.

I posted the above snippets from Wikipedia regarding the first amendment of the constitution, and also the treaty of Tripoli. Both of these passages make it pretty clear that our government was not based on the Christian religion. Our laws were never intended to be based upon the Christian religion or Christian morals.

I am a Christian. However, I take the bible as a biased book, one that is rooted in the cultural aspects of its time period. When things that weren't understood were condemned. And that includes Jesus Christ himself. But regardless of how you interpret the bible, it has absolutely no place in the laws of this country. That is made abundantly clear, time and time again, despite all the people crying that, "Our founding fathers never intended this." in regards to gay marriage.

The bible interpretation used by most Christians is irrelevant, or should be, in the gay marriage debate. In fact, other than, "Eww it's gross." the bible is the only other flimsy excuse that people have for denying gay marriage.

You all are free to believe whatever you like. If you want to believe that being gay, or eating shellfish is a sin, you go right ahead. But religion has no place in our government. NONE. Zero! It's simply a moot point.

I used to think that national gay marriage was something that wouldn't happen in my lifetime. Or even in the lifetime of my children. However, now, I see it on the horizon. More and more judges are finding it unconstitutional. Some people here in Indiana think that the voters should decide whether to add a ban to our state constitution. But what they don't realize is that voter opinion doesn't matter if the item at question is unconstitutional. Period.

I've never understood why states are allowed to have such varying laws. Why do we bother having a federal government at all? It would be so much more simple if everyone followed the same rules, regardless.

Someday, everyone will have equal rights and all this will be behind us. We'll look back and wonder how we were ever so backward. Like we do now with race.

That's all my rant for now. Thanks for listening :)

Dawn

And so it begins...

Hello faithful readers! If I have any... ;)

Well, it's that time of year again! Welcome to the holidays! Now that we're all full of turkey and stuffing, the Christmas season can begin in earnest. I haven't written a post in a while, but sitting here this morning (Having been up since three AM, not to shop but to deal with a wakeful infant) and watching the news about fights breaking out in stores and a shooting in a parking lot at a Kohl's store somewhere in the country, I felt compelled to write about this insane thing that American's do every holiday season.

First off, Christmas comes waaaaay too early for me! I was out shopping for my Thanksgiving supplies earlier in the week, and felt dismayed at hearing Christmas music playing in the store! Now, I love Christmas music, don't get me wrong! But, there is something special to me about saving those songs up all year, and then bingeing on them during the holidays. (sure beats bingeing on candy!)

Christmas time just feels special to me. It's like there is something in the air. People seem a little nicer, happier. The songs and lights and beauty of it all enchants me. It's not about the gifts, though I love buying special gifts for the people I love and getting to see their faces when they open them far more than receiving gifts myself. It's just a really magical time of year.

But our insane society seems hell-bent on ruining it every year with more, and more and more marketing and stuff! Having 'Black Friday' sales on Thanksgiving now! It's just crazy! How did that happen?

I went two years ago to a Thursday night sale. All I wanted was a sewing machine. They were really cheap and it was for myself, not even for a gift. I got there way early, like two hours before the sales would begin. I canvassed the store, planned out my strategy. The aisle where the sewing machines were (there were only 10 of them, that's it) was roped off. So I stood there at the end of the aisle, chatting with other customers as they gathered. A woman pointed out to me a place in a side aisle I could stand to get a closer shot at the machines. Then they unroped the area a half hour or more before the sale was to start. So I went and stood next to the machines. My leg was touching one, I felt pretty good about it all.

Next to the sewing machines was a huge bin of bath towels for like 1.75 each or something. Like super cheap! Turns out most of the people in that aisle wanted those towels. As we stood there jammed together like sardines in a can, waiting for the store to announce the go ahead, people were already digging through the towels to find matching colors and then standing there with there hands on a pile of them. Some people even put them in their carts, even though the store repeatedly announced that you should not be putting sale items in your cart till the sale began. Store employees came by and told people to stop only to be completely ignored. The behavior was completely juvenile!

Finally they began the sale some ten or twenty minutes early. I quickly grabbed my sewing machine and put it in my cart. Then I turned to see the towels disappearing so fast it was almost comical. In a moment of silliness, I dove underneath someone, reached my arm down in the bin and managed to grab three or four of them. I don't know what came over me, it was like mob mentality.

Then I was completely boxed in and couldn't get out of that aisle for nearly half an hour. I kind of had to laugh at the people who were mad that the towels were gone. It took no more than a minute for what had to be maybe a few hundred towels to completely go.

I went around the rest of the store, managed to pick up a few good deals for gifts for the kids, and then made my way to the checkout where I stood in line for ages. When I came out of the store and got home, I felt like the shell shocked survivor of some natural disaster! NEVER again will I put myself through that, I mean seriously, never again.

The stores do this on purpose, build up these frenzied events by playing on human nature. People camping out since last Sunday for deals?! I just can't fathom it!

Thankfully, there does seem to be a movement this year of people that are boycotting this kind of behavior. But so long as people continue to allow the stores to manipulate them,  then this sort of thing will go on. We all really need to think about what the holidays mean to us, and figure out if the insanity is really worth it. It isn't to me.

So that's my soap box speech for today! Be safe folks!

Dawn

Coming out...

Hello readers!

Today I have spent some time, now that I finally got my son to take a nap, arguing with people on a local news Facebook page. Of course, why I do that to myself is beyond me. All it does is raise my blood pressure. Good thing I'm on meds for that, lol. But, it led me to doing some thinking which led to this blog post.

The posting I was arguing on was about the military's announcement that they would extend benefits to same sex spouses of service members. All of you know how I feel about gay rights. I've blogged about it before, and I think I've made it pretty clear what I believe.

However, I think to truly make clear my thinking on this subject, there is something that I need to disclose about myself.

I am bisexual.

It's something I've only recently admitted to myself. I've always felt attraction toward women. I never understood it. I had been with a woman sexually once but wasn't sure at the time what was motivating me and I never told anyone in my life about it. (other than my husband) But it all boils down to the fact that I feel sexually attracted to men AND women. Not one more than the other. I like them both.

But it took a conversation with my husband about things that turn me on to make me say it out loud. That I am bisexual. Guess what? My husband is a million percent cool with it. He loves me for who I am and that hasn't changed. I am the woman that he married. The only difference now is that I really KNOW who I am.

It doesn't make any difference in my marriage. I am 100%, head over heels in love with my husband. He's an amazing man and I am lucky and blessed to have him. Our life and marriage is wonderful and I wouldn't change it, or him, for the world. He doesn't, as some men might, feel threatened by the fact that I'm bisexual. In fact, he thinks it's pretty awesome. :)

So, you may ask, what does it matter? Why 'come out' when it doesn't seem to be necessary. When, because I'm in a heterosexual marriage, I don't have to struggle as do others in the LGBT community, for equal rights?

It is exactly because of that fight for equality that I need to come out. That I proclaim who I am loudly and proudly while I stand alongside others in the LGBT community to fight for equality. I already have equal rights because of my marriage, but what if I had met a woman instead of Kevin? What if she'd been from England? I'd still be living apart from my love by thousands of miles because the US doesn't allow same-sex partners to immigrate. So, while those restrictions don't affect me, they could have.

I also just don't believe that people should have to be secretive about who they are. Everyone deserves the right to be who God made them to be, and I've always been told that God doesn't make mistakes. So, I know that He made me to be who I am.

I've reached a point in my life where I don't feel like I should have to do anything to conform to what other people think is right. My conscience guides my actions. My love for Christ and his commandment to love one another guides my actions. But if I want to dye my hair purple (which I plan to do), get a few more tattoos, or fight for marriage equality because it's the right thing to do, then I'm going to do it regardless of what anyone else thinks.

Do I think that my coming out will lose me some friends? Possibly it will. If it does then I'll be sad for those people. But I will not mourn their loss in my life if they cannot accept me for the person that I am.

So, that's it. That is me in a nutshell. It is very freeing to just say it out loud and just be who I am.

Thanks for reading,

Dawn

Pedestrians who?

Hello readers!

I spent a long while as a pedestrian. For many periods of my life, I did not have a drivers licence, and if I had, I wouldn't have been able to afford a car. So, I walked, rode a bike, took a bus or taxi when I could. But I didn't have that freedom that comes from having a set of wheels to get myself around with. A freedom that now, admittedly, I take for granted. So having been both a pedestrian and a driver, I now feel pretty darn qualified to rant about this subject.

Nearly on a daily basis, or at least so it seems for the last six months or so, I hear about pedestrians being killed by cars on the streets of Indianapolis. Now I don't live in Indy, but I'm a half an hour car ride away from the outskirts and only an hour from the city center. Having driven through downtown Indy, the traffic is scary to say to the least. There is a lot of it and it moves fast. Some of the roads and traffic signals are confusing to say the least. And a lot of the roads are massively wide, multi-lane monsters built to accommodate the huge traffic flow.

I get it that Indy is a big city. But it has to be one of the least pedestrian friendly cities I've ever seen! The most appalling thing about all these deaths, are the comments on the news articles. People blaming the pedestrian, saying it MUST have been their fault. And in some cases, I'm sure it is. But it can't possibly be that in all cases. The utter lack of compassion or empathy is disgusting. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, but it still makes me very angry.

Even when I lived in little bitty Winchester, with it's minuscule population, and even though I always followed rules ie: wait for signals, etc. I very nearly got hit several times. I actually had someone waiting to make a left turn decide I wasn't moving fast enough and they sped within inches of my back and honked their horn, scaring the life out of me. When I had the right of way! I also nearly got hit on my bike a number of times, even though again, I followed the traffic rules.

But too many people (and I'm not saying everyone cause I see many people who do give way to pedestrians) just think the road completely belongs to them. They disregard right of way to everyone, pedestrians, cyclists, and other cars. (pickup truck drivers are notorious for this) and seem to act as though traffic laws simply don't apply to them.

Or when the weather is bad, sweltering hot or frigidly cold, pouring with rain or pelting down snow or ice, I've seen people in their nice, air conditioned/heated cars, safe and comfortable from the elements, force a pedestrian to wait while they sped through an intersection. I'm sorry, if you can't wait five seconds for a pedestrian to cross, helping them get out of that weather a little sooner, then you should leave your house earlier if you're worried about being late. Its despicable!

And I've been in cities where the pedestrian takes precedence, and even though drivers don't like it, they put up with it, otherwise they'd have massive fines or jail time on their hands. I've walked the streets of New York City and did not feel the same kind of fear of traffic that I do in Indianapolis. And Indy is a gnat compared to the population of NYC. I've also been to other countries, England and Wales. And while I found the drivers to be a bit crazy sometimes, they still followed pedestrian rules. In England, all traffic, on all four sides of an intersection, stops when pedestrians are given the go ahead to cross. ALL OF THEM! And, there are entire streets of city centers in large cities like Birmingham or Wolverhamton, that are designated to be 'car free'. The road is home only to pedestrians, and you often have little shop booths running right down the center of the road you can peruse. This doesn't seem to bother anyone there, but Americans, it would likely drive them crazy. At least here in Indiana!

Rather than complaining about pedestrians, Indianapolis needs to do something to protect pedestrians from insane drivers who are selfish, self-important fools that act as though the world needs to move out of their way, rather than the other way around. How many more people have to die before they get a clue?

I'm not saying its always the drivers fault, but stop assuming it is always the pedestrian too. I think people do that simply because they can't admit to themselves they've probably almost hit a pedestrian from time to time. That would mean admitting they are wrong, and who likes to do that?

Okay, rant over, thanks for listening!

Dawn

Losing someone to cancer.

Until recently, I was one of the lucky ones. I had never lost anyone particularly close to me to cancer. Not to say I hadn't lost people before. My Dad died from a heart attack when I was ten. My Step-father in a car accident when I was in my early twenties. And my son to a tragic accident when he was 8 months old. I've experienced loss. But losing someone to cancer seems to me to be different from all those.

I'm now losing a person I hold dear to my heart. An amazing woman who has touched so many lives, including mine, in special and profound ways. My pastor, Cherie Isakson, is dying from cancer. She is weak, confused, and sleeps most of the time at this point, and is no longer able to eat. It won't be long now, and her daughter and best friend are both here to look after her till the end.

Cherie was diagnosed with uterine cancer last year, underwent surgery and chemo, and all seemed well. She told us her scans had come back clear. Things were good, and then life carried on as usual. Cherie, as our friend Alison is fond of saying, is a woman who "Walks the walk." She lead us spiritually and also lead by example of the Spirit.

Cherie isn't just my pastor, she's my friend. She was always there when I needed advice, a shoulder to lean on, or even a car to borrow. If you needed her to be somewhere, she would usually find a way to get there. If she couldn't be there she would use her extensive knowledge of local pastors to help you. When my husband was in the hospital with his emergency surgery, she couldn't make it right away and sent a pastor she knows in our town to pray with Kevin before his surgery, and then made it over here herself afterward, and helped very pregnant me get him home. She opened her home to those that needed it, whether for a dinner or a place to stay.

But not to say she was perfect. She could be grumpy, particularly if people didn't make their commitments. She argued with people, and was a bit of a control freak. Also a planner, she didn't like doing anything last minute. She'd be the first to tell you she had flaws. Often admitted to them in her Sunday sermons. Human and flawed, like all children of God.

Cherie being Cherie, she didn't say anything when her scans started coming back with not so good results. I think she figured that so long as she felt good enough to work, that they were only numbers on a page. She kept all her commitments, went on a vacation, and was helping to plan bible school. Then within just two weeks, she ended up where she is now. To say that many of us at church were blindsided would be an understatement.

Living an hour away, I was really out of the loop and had no idea she'd been in hospital for a morphine reaction. When we stopped by to visit her a week ago after my doctor appointment, to find her in her den in a hospital bed, on hospice care and actively dying from cancer, was a shock, to say the least. It all seemed to have happened so fast. Only a week later, she is no longer able to see people or talk very much. I'm really glad we got to see her when we did. When she was still the Cherie that I know and love. When she could still banter, and laugh and talk with us as she's always done.

I guess that is what I find so awful about cancer. The deaths that I have experienced have all been quick ones. Sudden and abrupt crises that you deal with and then begin the process of grieving and moving on with your life. Cancer on the other hand, is a slow thing. Robbing a person of their body function and mind until there is nothing left and they finally drift off. When Cherie first told us she had cancer, and that it was a difficult one to treat, I knew that at some point we'd likely have to face this. But when things were going so well, it was so easy to forget that. So easy to pretend that things were all ok and that this stuff that's happening now seemed like it could be years away. And then, all of a sudden, it's not. Some cancers work fast and others slow, and obviously hers was working on her longer than any of us knew. But because she seemed so well, it all feels so rapid and sudden now and we all feel totally unprepared to deal with it.

Currently I'm dealing with it in the best way I know how. Since I can't do anything for Cherie, I've taken it upon myself to do things for those that are caring for her. Preparing food to bring, or using my church connections to make sure they get the things that they need while they take care of my beloved friend. Being there for my church family as much as I can even though I live an hour away. Kevin and I can't imagine going to church anywhere else. It's where we feel we belong, and to us it's worth the two hour round trip to do church on Sunday and to make sure I get there for session meetings, etc.

But now when I see all the things on TV and around me in my community about fighting cancer, I finally understand on more than just an intellectual level. Before, I knew that cancer was bad and while I supported folks in their causes against cancer by donating, etc, I was still pretty detached from what they were doing. Now? Now I have that gut wrenching, visceral reaction at the thought of the very word, cancer. I understand on a much deeper level what it means to lose someone to cancer. Now, I get it, and good Lord I wish I didn't.

I'm angry and sad in turns. It seems so unfair that a person so good, so filled with grace and so present in this world in all she did to help the poor, the mentally ill, the drug addicted, that this person of all people would get cancer and die when she's still in the prime of her life (early sixties). Sounding like my six year old, "It's not fair!". But my mother always used to say that life isn't fair. The older I've gotten the more I've understood that.

So many people do manage to survive cancer, which is so amazing. But when you're losing someone to cancer, when the end result becomes inevitable, you can't help but think, "Why can't they cure this one, dammit!?" Why can they cure some and not others? Obviously, I know why. I know that all cancers are different and all people are different. But I still can't help thinking that anyway. Why not just this one? Sigh...

I don't know how long Cherie has left, but in my mind she is really already gone. The Cherie that I knew has already been taken from us, and now God merely needs to bring her the rest of the way home. I comfort myself knowing that when she was lucid she was at peace with her situation, and at peace with God. All I can do at this point is pray for her caregivers, pray that she doesn't suffer, and pray for my church family who now have to figure out how we move forward without her.

I guess that is all any of us can do. But now I know, now I know what it means to lose someone to cancer.

Dawn

So you're different...

Hello readers!

Those of you who actually do read my blog know that I don't blog often. Heck, only my husband follows me on Google. People read my blog, sometimes, when I post it on Facebook. That doesn't stop me from blogging though, because whenever I find something that either makes me mad, intrigues me, or that I feel passionate about, I have to write about it. It's a great outlet to get out your feelings and just put your thoughts out there. Sometimes my blogs have sparked discussions, other times my blogs are largely ignored. But I won't ever stop writing them, even if only my husband ever reads them.

That said, as usual I've found something that bothers me so I want to write about it :)

I was watching a show I recorded yesterday called "Taboo". The series covers a variety of topics, and this episode covered physical or mental disorders that cause people to be outside what society views as 'normal'.
One was a man a little older than myself who had severe OCD. Despite using medicine and therapy to combat it, his OCD was pretty severe and some of the worst I've seen. Another was a woman whose body has basically no fat on it. It makes her look prematurely old and she is so skinny she looks severely anorexic, despite the fact that she eats constantly and loves fast food, which makes most of us fat. Another was a man with severe Asymmetry on his body, one side was much larger than the other.

In all the cases of these people, the thing that stood out to me most was how they talked of being bullied, ostracized and teased. How people looked at them like they are crazy, particularly the guy with OCD. The young woman who was so skinny found a you tube video of herself calling her the 'worlds ugliest woman' and comments on the video saying they'd give her tips on how to kill herself and doesn't she wish her mother had aborted her.

These sort of things make me seriously ANGRY! People who are ill through absolutely no fault of their own, being shunned by society because they are different. Being seen as less because they don't fit the status quo. There are so many different types of people out there. No two are exactly alike, even when you take identical twins into account there are differences that exist. So who are any of us to judge someone?

I admit, there are times in my life where I've seen someone behaving oddly and I thought, 'Okay, that was weird.'. But I would never shun or outright make fun of someone for being different. I suppose growing up with a brother who is severely mentally handicapped, and also who became mentally ill with Paranoid Schizophrenia, I'm a little more tolerant than some folks. I like to think that some people have been sheltered and just not had to deal with folks with special needs or strange disorders, so I like to hope that their ignorance is simply unintentional and a result of never having been exposed to these things.

Unfortunately that isn't often the case. Some people believe that mental disorders and things simply don't exist. Others make a snap judgement and once their mind is made up you can show them all the scientific evidence in the world and they still won't believe you, because their belief is now set in stone. Others simply lack basic human compassion and poke fun at these people for their own amusement. Those are the ones that really tick me off!

And I know that some things wouldn't even be said if it weren't for the internet. The inherent anonymity of it makes people bold and brings out the jerk in many. They say things online that they could never say in person to someone because they aren't brave enough to be that hideous.

I can understand people hundreds of years ago, not having the knowledge of science and the human brain that we have today, being irrationally afraid of someone different, because they didn't know any better. But in today's more educated and civilized society, this should no longer be the norm but it should be in the minority. Yes there are people not as well educated but again, those should be in the minority.

But its not and that is what makes me so mad. I suppose that is why I like watching shows that talk about rare disorders and people who look different. Mainly because I want to educate myself, and be prepared for what life may throw my way. You never know when your own child can be stricken with one of those rare, one in a million type of conditions that the doctor doesn't know anything about. Being informed as to what is out there, can lessen the shock of it.

I have to say I admired the folks in that show. The young woman has aspirations of being a motivational speaker and already speaks at schools about bullying. The guy with OCD holds down a normal job as a waiter, and has roommates and friends and family who are supportive of him. He tells his roommate to tell him its the OCD when it starts getting a little out of control, which helps him snap out of some of his compulsive behaviors.

One of the interesting things I learned about OCD watching that show is that the people who have OCD, are fully aware that their behavior is not normal and appears ridiculous, but they still can't help doing it. He explained it like having an itch you simply can't resist scratching. If they don't do the compulsion it's as though something bad is going to happen. The anxiety builds and builds till they can't handle it.

I admire anyone who perseveres and overcomes a health issue or disorder to really make something of themselves. Even if that means only being independent. I hope that anyone who reads this thinks twice before they judge the guy in the grocery making strange faces, or the autistic child flapping their hands or twirling. Be tolerant of your fellow man and be loving as Jesus taught us to be. After all, he hung out with the misfits, so too can we. They can surely bring a lot more life to the party, I'll tell you  ;)

Thanks,

Dawn

Scouts honor?

Hello readers,

It's been about a month since my last post, so here I am again to bug you all! As usual, when something controversial comes up, I like to weigh in, so here we go.

As long as you don't live under a rock, you've heard about the recent decision by the Boy Scouts of America to allow openly gay youth to join their ranks, yet still disallow openly gay adults to serve as leaders. This has, as you may imagine, caused a lot of ruckus. I often wonder why I allow myself to read the comments from people on articles posted on Facebook from the various news organizations I follow, but I do find it interesting to see where peoples viewpoints lie. I'm also always continually flabbergasted by the sheer stupidity out there, but that's a post for another day.

I was driven to want to write this blog post when I saw that the brother of a good friend of mine, who is an Eagle scout, is pulling his own son out of scouts and mailing back the Eagle award that took him 14 years to earn. He's spent the majority of his life either in scouts or leading his son in scouts. One thing that I knew was inevitable with the scouts decision was that more conservative members would leave the group. Either in protest over a decision they disagree with, or based on an irrational fear of they or their child coming into contact with 'gayness'.

Truthfully, I find his decision to be a very sad one. He blames it on the scouts bowing to pressure to conform with society, rather than stick to their so-called 'biblical principles'. He even posted a mocking new scout pledge that addressed that.

I've seen some people blaming the government, or the constitution, etc for the this change in the boy scouts. But what so many conservative members of the scouts don't stop to think about, is that the shift came not from societal pressure, but from within their own organization. Closeted gay members who want to be able to admit, 'this is who I am'. Straight members who believe that everyone should be given equal opportunity to succeed in life. There is no doubt that the scouts have done amazing things for people. I've never heard anyone speak poorly of their experiences in scouts. But they are woefully behind in helping a group of people who could benefit from their help the most, and are only now addressing it.

Gay youth can stand to benefit so much from the scouts. For a child who is ostracized by many around them to the point that so many choose suicide, scouts could potentially be a lifesaver. Yet, at the same time I worry that conservative members who remain in scouts may be allowed to continue the abuse and that the organization as a whole won't get anywhere with it's attempt at diversity. Oh, they'll draft rules and policies, but how many individual scout leaders will turn a blind eye in the more conservative parts of the country? More than they would like to admit I'll bet.

Of course, among commenters fighting over this decision, the bible does come up and verses get tossed around left and right. I've done my fair share of research over the years, but have found it impossible to convince people that are so entrenched in their beliefs that they are being hypocritical. I wonder how many people who talk about the bibles stance on homosexuality have paid attention to the bits about divorce? Yet divorce is pretty acceptable and almost necessary in our society today and is certainly not as frowned upon as it once was. Are divorced people allowed to lead in scouts? Are kids with divorced parents allowed to be in scouts? Certainly! But yes the bible is very specific, and talks far more about the evils of divorce, than it does about homosexuality. So where is that principle in an organization that claims to be biblical?

Something I find inherently disturbing is the comparisons made between homosexuality and pedophilia. People argue that, "Oh gay people say they're born that way, but so do pedophiles!" Really?? There are some glaring, huge differences between both of these states. Homosexuality was declassified as a mental illness in 1975. (much later than I would have guessed!)  It is also, in this country at least, not a criminal act to engage in homosexual activity with another consenting adult. The key words here being consenting adult. 

Pedophilia on the other hand is considered a mental disorder, a sickness. It is harmful to the targeted victim because that victim is too young to consent or understand what is happening to them. Also, though science has tried to find a biological reason for it, there seem to be none. Instead, I found this passage from minddisorders.com that sums it up pretty well:

Most experts regard pedophilia as resulting from psychosocial factors rather than biological characteristics. Some think that pedophilia is the result of having been sexually abused as a child. Still others think that it derives from the person's interactions with parents during their early years of life. Some researchers attribute pedophilia to arrested emotional development; that is, the pedophile is attracted to children because he or she has never matured psychologically. Some regard pedophilia as the result of a distorted need to dominate a sexual partner. Since children are smaller and usually weaker than adults, they may be regarded as nonthreatening potential partners. This drive for domination is sometimes thought to explain why most pedophiles are males.

There is some interesting research regarding possible biological causes of homosexuality as well as evolutionary theories. I suggest, if you're interested, that you take a look. Are research studies always completely conclusive? No they aren't. But it will really give you food for thought. I've said this before and I'll say it again: our brains can be wired in millions of different ways. Some of those ways are harmful, which is why they are classified as mental illnesses, that are harmful to others and to the person with those illnesses. Other ways are pretty benign, such as homosexuality. In a consenting relationship, homosexuality harms no one. It doesn't harm me to see a gay couple holding hands when they walk down the street, or even kiss one another. It is merely societies extreme views, often brought about by religion, that cause people to have a problem with it. But the sheer number of gay people tells me that this is something that isn't an abnormality that just happens once in a while. It's just a normal part of the spectrum of society. No different than being left handed (which, by the way, also was once frowned upon).

But back to the boy scouts. Many who know me know that I'm getting ready to have a baby boy here in just under six weeks. Unless things shift seismically, I don't plan on my son ever being in scouts. Not for the reasons chosen by the brother of my friend, but because until they choose to include all people, it's an organization I don't want my son to be a part of. I think they didn't go far enough. I think they need to allow gay men to serve as leaders. They aren't going to turn your children gay if they aren't already. I think that's another fear of some parents. That they might have a gay child, but that child can 'resist' being gay so long as they don't come into contact with someone who actually 'is' gay. It's a justification so many parents use when they can't cope with the fact their child is gay.

Truthfully, in my lifetime, or at least in the lifetimes of my children, I expect that this debate in our country over homosexuality will become a memory for history books, something people shake their heads over and wonder how we could have been so backward. Go further down the road, and even churches may end up someday saying, "Oh yeah, we really had it wrong that time." It is, at least, what I hope for. That equality can be had for all.

Thanks for reading,

Dawn